Work, Family, and the Meaning of Life

Happiness - the ups and downs

Generally, I'm quite a happy soul. A sceptical one but a happy one nonetheless. I might be bald and single, but I feel rich in life experiences. I have amazing kids, healthy parents and various brothers who only annoy me occasionally. I, genuinely, spend a good proportion of my time happy being alive.

But it wasn't always thus...

Trails and tribulations in your 40s

However, this isn't a blog about my inner peace. It's actually about work-life balance. But before I get there I'll start with an observation:

Most of my friends - yes, they are typically mid-40's and creaking physically and/or financially - seem to be in a pretty good emotional place.

Typically, by the time you get to your mid-40's you've suffered your fair share of the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - a divorce, a bad accident, lost parents, a serious illness or a large career disappointment. We should have "made it" by now, shouldn't we?

As long as you are still alive, then, in all likelihood, you'll have realised that bad stuff might happen, but life does go on. If you're in the UK with enough money to feed yourself, you have a job and a warm bed, then you are better off than 99% of the world's population. That's worth being happy about. And most of my friends are.

Life theories and work-life

But if the happy bunch of 45-year-olds are so content with their life's lot, why is there so much written about the lack of work-life balance and how not having it is the curse of 21st century Britain?

Here's my theory - well, 2 bits of the same theory actually.

1. The people who suffer most - who are most miserable and who yearn for that elusive thing called balance - are the 30 to 40 year olds. Why are they the most affected? First of all, it's this bunch that has young kids, babies and toddlers. They are exhausted because babies and young children are exhausting. Work-life balance does not exist because, if you have very young children, then work-life balance does not exist. Simple as that.
2. And slightly more interestingly, it's the 30 to 40 year olds who are still searching. That is, searching for the meaning of life; for the perfect job; for enough sleep; for something or someone to make them happy rather than looking a bit closer to home. One of the fundamental keys to happiness is accepting the choices you have made. My life observation is that it can take a good 40 years before you accept life for what it is and learn to love yourself, as well as the world around you.

I realise this is a bit heavier than my normal stuff. And, as the MFC editor (we'll call him Moss for now) pointed out, it may just be that, by 45, you're more senior, your kids are older and you probably have some work-life balance. Who knows...

Ben Black