Know Your Audience: Praise and Recognition (Part 2)

My Family Care asks Michelle: How do you offer praise and recognition at home and at work? Do you use similar techniques in both situations? What advice do you have to make praise and recognition work?

Well-being at work and home

Praise and recognition are important for an individual's psychological well-being, regardless of whether they are adults in the office or children at home.

Sadly, we live in a society that has no problem voicing complaints, but we often forget to tell people they are doing a good job - which leads to people feeling like they never do anything right, and eventually shutting down.

Feedback

I'm definitely an advocate for finding the positive in most situations. We've all heard of the 's*it sandwich' when giving feedback, but it really is such an important thing that many managers and parents overlook. Think about how you'd feel in this situation:

You've just completed a major project, it's taken weeks to do and you're really proud of the final result. Of course, there are things you know you would do differently next time, but all in all you think it's a success. Your line manager sits you down to do a debrief, and the only thing they highlight is what they don't like and what needs improving. There's no recognition of the time or effort that has gone into it, no recognition of the successes the project has had or will have for the company, and no recognition of the things that went right. How do you feel? Do you want to work on another project with that line manager?

Imagine instead that you are at home and you've asked the kids to tidy up the play room. When they are finished, you comment on the fact that they missed a piece of Lego, or that they've put things in the wrong places. Do you think they're going to want to tidy the play room again?

In many situations, you need to think not only of how you would like to be told, but also how those around you might respond to the same feedback - we are all unique so we all respond differently. As a parent or a manager, knowing the personalities you are working with is the first step to successfully recognising effort and success.

Reward accordingly

Just as people respond differently to feedback, they also respond differently to rewards. I remember, when growing up, that my parents had different ways of rewarding my brothers and I. At first I thought it was unfair as my brothers rewards were financial and mine were more touchy-feely - like a day out or being allowed to have friends round for a sleepover.

But as I matured and studied psychology, I realised they had it sussed - they knew what was important to us, what would make us respond positively and make us feel valued. I valued personal time, whereas my brother's interest was in being able to amass the funds he needed to go on his next adventure or buy the trainers he wanted.

The same can be applied to your employees. I had an assistant once who was interested only in financial rewards, so things like team building days and lunches out were of little to no interest to them. However, for some people these are the key elements to keeping them engaged, and feeling valued.

Be consistent

The best advice I can give you is to know your audience, know what they respond to and be consistent.

Remember, not everyone is the same, but find a way to reward your team and your children in a fair, but personalised way. And remember to recognise small success as well as big ones - knowing you're doing well along the way makes you feel more inclined to work harder towards the end goal.

Michelle Barr, Communications Manager, Auntie of two