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Ben Black, Director

Keeping it in the Family

Ben Black, Director

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Regular work+family updates for
HR and diversity professionals.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

We've been doing quite a lot of press recently and one of the topics that comes up is the joys (or otherwise) of working with your brother. It's an easy question to answer. It's brilliant. Sure there are a few downsides:

  • he's annoying
  • he's never afraid to challenge me
  • he knows exactly how to wind me up
  • he takes pleasure in usurping whatever authority I have, as often as possible
  • and he's never knowingly failed to put me down when I tell anyone how well we're doing.

But apart from those minor irritants, it's brilliant. And it's brilliant because, underneath that long list of faults, he's a great guy who I respect and like enormously. The trust between us is absolute.

Me, my family, and boarding school

It got me thinking: how is it that some sets of brothers and sisters end up incredibly close and some don't? If you're lucky enough to have a large family, it's nothing short of a tragedy not being close to them.

I live in a small house in Notting Hill. When the kids aren't there, my other two brothers have commandeered it as their London pad. They're typically dossing with me - displaying their long list of domestic faults - two or three times a week. Annoying on any number of levels, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

It seems to me that the advantages of loving your siblings unconditionally are enormous. How did we end up so close? Did my parents throw a secret powder into the air and magic us into being best friends? I don't remember particularly liking any of them when I was younger, although maybe the shared pain of boarding school has something to do with it...

Sibling bonding

I look at my own kids and wonder if they will end up the same way. More importantly, is there anything I can do to help make sure that, whatever happens in between, they are always there for each other? I'm not sure.

Boy twin spends his time winding his sisters up. I have to remind girl twin - occasionally - that when she was gushing blood following a boat accident, the only child who rushed towards her, rather than away, was her brother.

On the plus side the three of them have gradually worked out that if they join forces against me, the sides are almost equal. Frustrating as a parent, but maybe useful for my long-term bonding project?

The extended 'business family'

And as for the business, it's not quite as harmonious as it sounds. There's a third shareholder called Amanda. Get her on your side and you basically win. I'm convinced she likes me more!

Ben Black

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Regular work+family updates for
HR and diversity professionals.