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My Family Care asks Nicola: New Year, New You! Many people focus on changing the physical in the New Year, but what about the mental and emotional elements? How do we know that we're presenting the image of ourselves to the outside world that we think we are? If we're not happy with that image, how can we change it, and what steps can be taken to introduce the 'new you' to family, colleagues, and even friends?
Let's talk about 'resolutions'
The start of the New Year is often full of talk about "New Year's resolutions". Whilst many of us set business and professional goals all year round, this time of year often becomes a focus for the more personal things we'd like to change about ourselves over the next twelve months.
Whether or not it's because Christmas can be a time of self-indulgence and over-eating, many New Year's resolutions seem to focus on physical changes such as getting back in shape, being healthier and generally improving our personal image; eat more healthy, give up drinking, stop smoking, go to the gym, take more 'me time', take up yoga and meditation... the list goes on.
Of course, we all know how important it is to look after ourselves, but what are these New Year's resolutions really about?
What is it we are really hoping will be different in 12 months' time? What do we really want when we think about dropping a dress size or two or finally fitting back in to those skinny jeans? What are we really after when we talk about doing more to look after our health and our looks? Is it all about improving what others will see?
Really, the most important question to start with when thinking about any kind of change or goal is "Why?". Why are we making these New's Years Resolutions in the first place?
Why do we do it?
Perhaps, when we look beneath the surface, the reason why we make these New Year's resolutions is not really about wanting to change what other people see on the outside, but more about changing the way we feel on the inside.
It's about how we want to feel when we put on that little black dress or slide in to those pre-baby skinny jeans, how we want to feel, not just in January until our good intentions fizzle out towards the end of February, but 24/7, throughout the year.
So what if this year's resolutions started on the inside? What if, in the words of Stephen Covey, we 'began with the end in mind', by first focusing on how we want to feel on the inside, rather than how we want to appear to the outside world.
Imagine how you'll feel
Without worrying about what you're going to change or how you're going to make it happen, start by thinking about what you most want to feel over the next 12 months: love, fulfilment, excitement, security, confidence, happiness, peace, vitality, serenity, strength, balance, laughter, exhilaration, comfort... something else?
Imagine yourself feeling these emotions 24/7 at work and at home, every day for the rest of the year!
As a result, what would you:
- be saying to yourself / others?
- NOT be saying to yourself / others?
- be thinking?
- NOT be thinking?
- be doing more of?
- be doing less of?
Take time to reflect on all of the above. The answers to these questions will start to help your "how" become clearer, you'll know what you need to be doing more or less off on the 'outside' in order to feel more of what you want on the 'inside'.
Success is about mindset
Whatever it is you want to achieve in your professional or personal life, success is 20% skill or technique and 80% mindset.
The advantage of focusing initially on your emotions, is that by doing all of the things which will give us more control over our emotions, we're actually much more likely to be able to achieve our goals and get better results in our professional and personal lives.
So this year, even if getting in shape, improving your health and developing your personal image is high on your New Year agenda, I invite you to do things a bit differently this year, and think about getting the results you want on the 'outside' by setting New Year resolutions which start from the 'inside'.
Notice the difference
Will other people see a difference in you? Everything starts with our thoughts; and our thoughts about how we want to feel on the inside will undoubtedly shine through in what we say, do, and ultimately how we look to other people.
Make 2015 a year of being who you want to be on the inside, so that the way people perceive you and the results you want to achieve professionally and personally will come together naturally.
What do you want to feel in 2015?
Nicola Huelin, Founder, CEO Mums
