Good Reasons or Bad Intentions?: Oversharing (Part 2)

My Family Care asks Kate: Between pictures of babies and what people have had for dinner, Facebook is filled with oversharing. There will always be an amound of your family you want to share with colleagues, but how do you strike the balance between just right and over the top?

To share, or not to share, that is the question

As a child, I remember being told to share my toys with my friends and, sometimes, to share the food I was eating with my siblings. As a parent, I receive feedback on how my boys behave - especially from their nursery - about whether or not they were sharing with others. The concept of sharing 'things' and 'information' about us continues as we grow, from sharing school equipment and telling others on a team something about ourselves, to putting together our first CV.

But, how much do we need to share, both face-to-face and online, through channels such as Facebook?

Check your intentions

For me, striking the right balance comes down to intent. The moment you honestly check your own intention around what you want to say, and why you want to say it, is the moment you are ready to go forward and act.

If your intention is to educate, inform or entertain, then you're on track. However, if your intention is to make a point, to be 'right' about something or to brag about something, then you're off track. An unhealthy state of mind drives unhealthy emotions, rather than opening the door to healthy emotions that give you invaluable information, guiding you to know what to share and when.

The 'good' and the 'too much'

I have a family member whose parents live in Australia. For her, sharing her life is such as big part of how she connects with them, including sending photos of what the grandchildren have been up to. Her state of mind is healthy, as she's sharing to connect with her family. The photos are a way of giving others who live far away the chance to see how family members are growing up, and share their experiences in life.

This is the opposite of those who post much of their family life, their children's grades, and express their love for each other on Facebook to make others jealous. To me, that that is oversharing. However, to them, it may feel normal. Maybe I should ask them what their intent was when they decided to share that information...

Sharing with colleagues

There can be a good reason to share with colleagues, especially when it's connected to what you're doing as an organisation. For example, if you're doing a charity event or activity that is raising money for a charity your company supports, why not share it on Facebook?

Think about what you'd share at a company gathering, before you share on social media. Just like posting incessantly about your weekend, sharing your work life should be kept under wraps; oversharing has a tendency to make people feel uncomfortable too.

Take stock before acting

My view is to take stock of your own state of mind - 'healthy' or 'unhealthy' - to help guide you to making a decision of what to share with colleagues.

Kate Adey, Executive and Maternity Coach, Mother of Three