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It starts with the Conservatives
Cameron gets exposed as one of the country's few completely "idea-free" zones and is replaced by Theresa May as leader.
Things look up until she insists on being called 'Matron'.
"Do something, gromit!"
Ed Milliband, meanwhile, takes the sensible option and exits politics to pursue a career as a Wallace and Gromit stand-in, leaving Harriet Harman free to take over the reins of the Labour party.
Immigration becomes a non-issue as people flee for the borders.
Nick Clegg does blue steel
Nick Clegg decides to fulfil his long-held male modelling ambitions and steps gracefully aside for his wife to take over. The Lib Dem share of the vote trebles to 2.3%.
Nigel and Nicola, sitting in a tree...
Nigel Farage doesn't step aside, but he is caught in an uncompromising romantic embrace with Nicola Sturgeon of the SNP.
They pursue an unlikely merger (personally and politically) and decide that it's Sturgeon who should hold the whip hand - so to speak.
That leaves us with women in control once and for all, and we all live happily ever after...
Ben Black
