A Global Family: Family Units (Part 4)

My Family Care asks Michelle: What does family unit mean in today's society? What does family mean to you?

What is family?

• Unconditional love?
• Acceptance?
• Support?
• Warmth?

These are all words that help build my definition of family. As the years roll on, my family becomes more and more complicated as it grows in ever changing ways.

I was born and raised into a very traditional family set up. Mum, dad and, eventually two brothers. We were a close knit family who would - and still will - do anything for each other. We've been there through thick and thin, we've picked each other up and we've celebrated successes, big and small.

But as a 37 year old female, I'm often asked "Why haven't you started a family?" Now, I know what people mean by this, "Your clock is ticking, why haven't you started having babies?" But my answer is, I have started my family - my global family - and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Near or far, blood or friendship

I was lucky enough to spend some time travelling before tying myself down to a job. I've seen some beautiful places, but it's the people I met along the way - those that made the experience so special - that I now consider part of my family.

I have gathered a group of stellar individuals that I am proud to call my brothers and sisters; and I'm even prouder to be called auntie by so many small humans. This makes the Christmas list long - but I love that I am part of each of their lives; there are no blood ties but we are still family.

I don't live near my immediate family, in fact, there is a very large ocean between us, but I've made a point of connecting with the relatives that live in the UK - people I would never have gotten to know if I'd stayed put. 

I lost my grandmother when I was a teenager, but spending time with her niece means I get to relive her past, find out more about her and solidify those family bonds even further. We're lucky that we live in a time when technology and transport allow us stay close to family, no matter where they are.

A family of my own making

I'm heading home for a family wedding as I write this and I can't wait. There are the pseudo aunts and uncles, the adopted grandparents, and the childhood friends who were like little brothers to me. All of these people are part of my global family. All of these people helped shape the person I am today and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

The other part of being an unmarried female at the age of 37 is that people seem to think it's ok to question why I'm not married - which goes hand in hand with their discussion about my choice to reproduce. It's almost like, without a husband or a child, I don't have family.

Until recently I hadn't even had a serious boyfriend, and many people thought my best friend and I were a couple (I should be so lucky). But I never thought that my "family" was lacking when I was solo. I surrounded myself with powerful women who had their own global families, and men who didn't question our choices.

So, do I have a husband and 2.4 children? No. Am I surrounded by unconditional love and support? Yes. I have a family of my own making. 

Will I get married? Maybe. Will I have children? Maybe, be it by carrying them or adopting them. But all those things will do is add to the dynamic family I already have. 

Michelle Barr, Communications Manager, Auntie of two